My Place
by kat3411
Summary: As Leah joins Jacob's pack and helps to guard the leech clan, she spends time alone in her own private clearing bathing in a stream, until her Alpha shows up and something happens that changes everything.


**A/N: Written from Leah's POV, this is a little idea that popped in my head one day. It's just a one-shot for now, as I don't really have time to write anymore at the moment. Let me know what you think!**

Another day lived as an animal, running the line . . . guarding the very creatures that were responsible for making me what I was: a big, fucking hairy dog. It was like living in some kind of alternate universe where everything was opposite of what I knew to be true. If it wasn't for these bloodsuckers, I might still have a chance at a somewhat normal life. I might have been married by now, and had a kid of my own. Instead, here I am, at the coven house, guarding _her_ and her demon spawn . . . _Jacob's imprint_.

_Imprint . . . _how I hate that word and all it represents. Another great thing about being a wolf: mating for life with someone you don't even know. Taking you away from someone you already love . . . _Give it up, Leah. Life sucks. Get over it, _I tell myself for the millionth time.

Just then, Seth breaks into my pathetic thoughts, _"Hey, sis. Jake says it's time for me to run and you to take a break."_

_"Bout time," _I huff.

_"Sorry, I was hungry and Esme is a great cook. She left you some food in a basket along with . . . "_

_"I don't need bloodsucker charity, thank you very much."_

_"Whatever. Go ahead, starve."_

I hated to admit it, but I was starving. I hadn't had any real food in weeks. I could feel my body losing strength, but I couldn't stand taking anything from _them_ . . . no matter how hungry I was.

_"Come on, Leah. It doesn't mean you're weak. Just take it. Please? For me? For mom?"_

It did sound tempting . . . _"Maybe, I don't know. Just don't bug me, OK?"_

Leaving patrol duties to Seth, I turned to flee and out of the corner of my eye, I spied the basket left for me. The intense hunger in my belly finally got the best of me and I caved, grabbing the basket in my teeth before I sped out of the yard and headed to _my place_ . . .

I had stumbled across this clearing a couple of days ago and claimed it as my own personal place to go and hide from the bloodsuckers, my annoying brother and my Alpha, Jacob. What brought me to this place initially was the stream that flows through it. I stopped to take a drink one day, then after drinking my fill, I sat down to rest on the grassy slope under the trees, and decided that it would be a great place to use as a get-away. It was so beautiful and quiet . . . so quiet. That's what I liked the best. I loved to lay on my back in my human body and watch the tree branches sway in the breeze overhead, or watch the stars come out at night. For weeks now, I had been searching for such a place . . . a place to find some peace. If only I could find that place inside me as well.

Leaving La Push and joining Jake's pack probably wasn't the smartest decision I ever made. I mean, it went against everything I was as a wolf to protect the leech clan, but at least it got Sam out of my head 24/7. That alone was worth giving up indoor plumbing and real food.

But now that I had been here for a few weeks, I was starting to rethink that decision . . . I was longing for food, clean clothes and most of all, a shower. I was disgusted by the amount of the dirt caked under my nails, and my scalp itched so badly from the mud that had dried in it over and over. Doc Fang's wife kept trying to get me take food and clothes from her, but I couldn't stand the idea of taking anything from any of the leeches. Jacob and Seth had no problem with it, however, and certainly hadn't lost nearly as much weight as I had. I even dreamed last night of eating a giant pepperoni pizza all by myself. _Oh civilization . . . how I miss you._

When I left La Push, I had no idea how long we would be here on the other side of the treaty line . . . now that Jake had imprinted on Bella's spawn, would this be indefinite? Would I spend the rest of my life living like an animal in the woods, always longing for the human life I had given up? Those were the thoughts that had been plaguing me lately, and I had to admit, it was depressing to think about. At least in La Push, I could go home to my mother's house and feel human for those few hours in between patrols. Here, I spent most of my time wolf. I wasn't at ease around the bloodsuckers like Seth and Jake. I needed to feel like I could protect myself if needed.

It didn't take long before I arrived at my place and plopped the basket on the ground under the tree beside the flowing stream. Looking around to make sure I was completely alone, I allowed my body to phase from my wolf form back to human then I kneeled down in front of the basket to pull out a pair of light blue shorts and a gray t-shirt with _The Beatles_ written on the front. _Huh, I wonder which one of the vamps actually had good taste in music? _My own clothes were a dirty, tattered mess, and I longed to wear something clean, even if they were bloodsucker cast-offs.

Disgusted by the sweet sickening vamp smell that clung to them, I quickly hung each of them over a tree branch, hoping that the light breeze would air them out a little. Then looking back into the basket, I grabbed a sandwich and wolfed it down, no pun intended, like I hadn't eaten in weeks, which was true. I had been living on a "wolf diet," and it sickened me to think about killing another rabbit. After gulping down a second sandwich, I peeked back into the basket and was thrilled to find a bar of very fine smelling soap and small bottles of shampoo and conditioner! There was also a washcloth and towel included, so grabbing each of them and the toiletry items, I moved over to lay them by the edge of the stream then I waded in and laid down to let the water flow over me. A bath . . . what a great idea!

I used up half of the shampoo in the little bottle washing my hair not once, but twice to try and remove all the mud that had been caked there so long. After adding the conditioner, I grabbed the bar of soap and lathered my whole body, paying special attention to my feet and fingernails. When I finished, I once again laid back in the stream and allowed the water to rinse my body as I rinsed my hair with my fingers. Oh, how wonderful it felt to be clean again!

Laying there in the water felt like a million little fingers running all over me . . . and I had to admit, it was kind of turning me on. It had been way too long since I had sex . . . not since . . . _Sam. _I had tried so hard over all these months to push those memories far away, but every now and then, they resurfaced, usually in dream form. I would wake from those dreams, throbbing from wanting Sam and then I would feel the disgust rise in me at being so weak.

But laying here, all alone in this stream, really had nothing to with Sam and everything to do with me just longing to feel something I hadn't in a long time. It's not like anyone looked at me as any type of a sex object anymore . . . my bitchy attitude wouldn't allow it. Before I realized it, my hand ran oh so lightly up over my stomach to pass over my breast and I gasped as my nipple popped up under my palm. _Mmm, that felt nice . . . _

After a couple more passes over my breasts, I led my hand drift lower until . . . I stopped and realized that my little brother could come prancing out of the woods and find me here and I would be mortified! _What are you thinking, Leah?_

With a sigh, I rose from the refreshing stream to stand and squeeze the excess water from my hair, then running my fingers through it, I thought again how heavenly it felt to be clean. Finally, I felt human again. I was actually humming a little tune as I reveled in the moment until all of sudden I sensed I wasn't alone anymore.

Turning slowly, praying it wasn't my brother who found me, I looked over my shoulder to find Jacob standing a few feet away, naked and given the huge erection he was now sporting, obviously enjoying what he was seeing. "Jake," I choked out, in complete embarrassment as I stepped out of the water towards the towel that was still laying on the grass. "What are you doing here?"

Jacob said nothing as he quickly closed the gap between us to stop me from retrieving the towel. Trying to cover myself with my arms and hands as best I could, I looked up and caught a very different Jake looking back at me. His eyes were dark as they stared at me . . . kind of like he wanted to devour me. It was unsettling and yet erotic at the same time. _But this is Jacob . . . my Alpha. And he already has an imprint. Sure she was a baby . . . a half human-half vampire demon spawn kind of baby, but she was his imprint none the less. So why is he standing here looking at me like this?_

"Jake," I said again to get his attention, but it was too late. His mouth descended on mine as I felt one large hand behind my neck and the other on my lower back and I gave in for just a second, enjoying the feeling of a man's lips moving over mine once again . . . of huge warm hands, molding my body against hard muscles . . . until I realized how wrong and stupid this was. Setting both of my hands on his sculpted chest, I shoved at him with all my might and broke the kiss to order, "Jacob, stop!"

I watched as Jacob opened his dark eyes to look at me, hoping to see that he had come to his senses. Instead, I heard him mutter gruffly, "You look so beautiful in the moonlight, Leah," Then I swear I heard him growl as he captured my lips again in a kiss, ravaging my mouth with his as he pressed me even closer to his hard body. Suddenly, my brain lost the fight with my body as I gave in to my own desire and kissed him back with everything I had.

Feeling Jake's strong hands on me was exhilarating. . . he gripped my hip with one as the other traveled slowly down from my neck, across my shoulder, down the back of my arm . . . yes, finally to my breast. I gasped as he cupped it and then ran a thumb over the tip. It had been too long . . . way too long. A moan escaped from me into his mouth as his tongue continued its exploration, just as his hand explored lower over my stomach and I tangled my hands into his hair. Finally Jacob's hand reached it's goal and spread over my mound, gripping it just a little, turning me on even further.

Jacob stopped kissing me only long enough to take a few steps and back me up against a tree then his mouth descended on my neck as he kissed and nipped at me with his teeth. This wasn't the Jacob I knew. I felt like he was being driven by something within . . . this was primal. I moaned as once again his hands were on my breasts . . . my body was on fire and I was completely swept away with the arousal now spreading its way to my very core. I had no idea what brought him here, or why this was happening, but at this point, I really didn't care.

As Jake pressed his hot body against mine I could feel how hard he was and I longed to wrap my hand around him, but before I had the chance, Jacob lifted me up and as he looked me straight in the eye, he drove inside me and I cried out as I instinctively wrapped my legs around him to keep from falling. It had been too long, and I was too tight for someone so large . . . Jake sensed this and held still for a moment to let me adjust. His hand wound into my wet hair as his lips traveled from my neck to my shoulder, then down until he captured a nipple in his mouth. "Oh my God, yes, Jake!" I cried out and I tugged at his hair as his tongue circled round and round.

Suddenly, Jake's mouth captured mine again as he began to move, so slowly at first it was almost torture then he pumped in and out faster and faster, trying to find that release that he was so desperately seeking. Squeezing my legs around his waist, I pushed him even deeper until I was just as desperate, especially since Jake was hitting just the right spot . . . _oh my God_ . . . it didn't take long before I was right there with him, working hard for that moment . . . _yes, yes, keep going, baby_. . . _just a little more . . . yes, yes, there it is . . . _suddenly I exploded and clung to Jacob's shoulders, digging my nails into his flesh as I cried out and felt wave after wave of pure bliss run through my whole body.

I heard Jake hiss with his own release as his legs began shaking and before long, he let me slide down his body until my feet hit the ground. Panting for breath, Jake looked into my eyes as his hand cupped my cheek and for a moment, I thought he might say something. Instead, he rested his damp forehead on my shoulder as we both fought to regain some composure. Finally, Jacob lifted his head to lean in and kiss me very tenderly on my swollen lips before stepping back and taking my hand to lead me back to the stream where he walked me into the water and said softly, "Sit down."

Following his orders, I curiously sat in the water as he moved to kneel behind me, leaving me to wonder what he was doing. Then I felt the cool water cascading down my back over the scratches there I received from moving against the bark of the tree. I smiled to think that Jacob would be concerned with that and I had to admit that the water felt really good sliding down over the scratches that I knew would heal very quickly.

Then I surprised myself by feeling the need to do something for him, so, knowing how good I felt to be clean again, I turned to Jacob and said softly, "Now it's your turn. Sit down."

With a curious smile, Jake sat down as I moved to pick up the small bottle of shampoo and then moved to kneel behind him. "Lay back," I instructed and as Jake laid back, I ran water over his head then rested it on my knees as I poured what was left of the shampoo into my hands and then ran it through Jake's hair. Closing his eyes, I heard him sigh as I scrubbed his scalp, removing as much of the dirt as I could, and then rinsed it clean.

"Sit up," I commanded softly and when he did, I moved to get the soap then hold it out to him. With a grin Jake took it and then lathered his body as I brazenly watched. I found that the guys in the wolf pack weren't nearly as shy about their nudity as I was and I decided that I didn't mind taking in the view. While he rinsed, I stepped out of the water to pick up the towel and dry off . When I finished, I held the towel out to Jake who exited the stream and took it and as he was drying his body, I pulled the shirt and shorts from the tree limbs and slipped them on then settled myself on the ground beside the basket.

Once Jake finished drying himself, he hung the towel on the tree branch to dry then he slipped his shorts on and plopped down onto the ground beside me to ask, "Is there any food in that basket? I'm starving!"

It amazed me at how quickly he was back . . . the old Jake, the one I knew not as my Alpha, but as my friend. Smiling at him, I turned to the basket sitting beside me and took out another sandwich. I handed it to him and he quickly unwrapped it and took a big bite then asked, "Aren't you going to eat?" I gave him a look that told him what I thought of eating food touched by a bloodsucker, so he added, "Don't make me Alpha order you. Eat something."

For some reason, I was too proud to let him know that I had already inhaled not one, but two sandwiches, so with a sigh, I looked into the basket and pulled out a large red apple then turned to Jake as I took a big bite. Jake knew exactly what I was implying and chuckled at me. "Yeah, OK, so Esme didn't make the apple, fine. At least you're eating."

We ate in silence, and when I finished the apple, I chucked the core over my shoulder into the woods and reached back into the basket to take out a bottle of water. After taking a long pull on it, I held it out to Jake, who took it then put it to his lips to drink. Watching him brought back to me how those lips had made me feel just a short time ago and I quickly made myself look away. _Why did that happen between us? I never thought of Jake that way . . . well, OK, so I lusted after him a few times, but never with the intention of actually doing anything about it. So what made him want me like that? What happened to his undying love for Bella . . . and his imprint, her vamp spawn?_

Finally deciding that I needed to know, I said hesitantly, "Jake?"

"Yeah?"

"Um, why did you come here tonight? Were you looking for me? Or did you just happen to find me?"

Jacob dropped his head as he sighed, "I don't know, Leah."

I waited for him to go on, but I could sense he wasn't in a hurry to have this conversation. That's OK . . . I would wait. I needed to know that badly. Finally Jake looked up and said, "I didn't come here looking for you, or for . . . this." Turning to me, he added quickly, "I hope I didn't hurt you."

With a smile, I assured him, "No, believe me, you didn't hurt me."

"Good," Jacob said with a shy smile. Then the smile faded as he admitted, "I have to tell you, Leah, I don't really understand what happened." Jake took a moment to pluck a few blades of grass then he ran them through his fingers as he said slowly, "I sent Seth to get some sleep and told him I'd run for awhile. I just needed to get out of the house . . . the smell was getting to me."

I smiled at hearing him admit that as Jacob was the one always trying to tell me that it wasn't that bad when you got used to it. Then he went on, "I ran the perimeter a few times and realized that I couldn't hear you, so wondering where you were, I followed your trail here. As I came close, I heard you in the water, so I phased back . . . and . . . "

Jacob stopped to gaze directly into my eyes as he said, "You stood up and your body just seemed to glow in the moonlight. It was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen." _Me? Beautiful?_ I suddenly wondered what Esme was putting in his food.

Shyly, I looked away as I mumbled, "Yeah, right. Me, beautiful."

Jacob immediately took my chin in hand to turn my head back to him as he told me, "Yes, you, Leah. And, I had this huge surge of . . . I don't know what you would call it . . . desire? Lust? I don't know, it's just . . . all of a sudden, I was overwhelmed with the feeling that I had to have you, to . . . possess you in a way. So . . . I kissed you."

Looking into Jacob's eyes, I knew he was telling the truth, and it unsettled me. _Why would he want me? What about the imprint? _

Then Jacob added with a smile, "What shocked me the most is that you kissed me back." Now it was my turn to be a little shy as I looked away from him. "You stopped me once, Leah. Why didn't you push me away? Why did you kiss me back?"

_Be cool, Leah. Don't throw out any of that mushy girl shit._ "Well, it's been a long time since anyone has looked at me like you did, Jake. I miss sex . . . and I saw the opportunity, so I took it."

Jake looked me in the eye, I knew trying to see if I was telling him the truth. "So that's all it was to you? Just sex?"

"Yes. Why? Wasn't that what it was to you?"

Looking away, Jake muttered, "I guess."

"What the hell, Jake? Don't go all chick on me now. What is going on with you?"

Shoving himself from the ground, Jake spit out, "I have no fucking idea, Leah! I am clueless as to why I did what I did. I mean, yeah, you're beautiful and you're standing there in front of me naked! Any guy would want to have sex with you, but . . . I never did that . . . I mean . . ."

Then it hit me. Throwing my hand to my forehead, I exclaimed, "Oh my God, you were a virgin, weren't you?"

Exhaling, Jake nodded, "Yeah."

Smiling, I stood to say, "Well, you hid it well. Believe me, you didn't act like a virgin."

Glancing at me over his shoulder, Jake smiled, "Yeah?"

I walked around to face him as I told him, "Uh, you were pretty intense back there."

"Well, that's because it wasn't really me. I know this sounds weird, but, I really didn't feel in control. I don't know if it's because I'm your Alpha or what. . . "

"I know. I could tell. Hey, at least you have something you can hold over Quil now," I added with a smile, hoping to break some of the tension that was building between us.

Jacob shot me a quick smile before saying, "Yeah. But I don't think it's such a good idea to tell anyone about this. What if it gets back to Seth?"

_Seth. _ He would throw a shit fit, I knew he would. "Yeah, we'll have to work hard to hide this from him."

Jake closed his eyes, as his hands rested on his hips. "I'm sorry, Leah. I shouldn't have acted on it."

Of course he regretted it. Now that he had his senses about him again, he realized that he had given up his virginity to me, bitchy Leah. Who would want that? Not wanting him to see how his regret hurt me, I said flippantly, "No problem, Jake. It's forgotten. I'll never tell a single sole." Then I turned and plopped back down on the ground beside the basket.

Jacob followed and sat beside me to eye me suspiciously. "Are you sure you're OK? You're not . . . mad at me for what I did?"

"I wasn't a virgin, Jake. Like I told you, it's been a long time. It's no big deal, OK?" Then I added a little too harshly, "Now, can we please stop talking about it?"

Digging into the basket, I found a bag of cookies, and being so desperate to get away from this very uncomfortable conversation, I opened it, took out a cookie and bit into it. I hated to admit it, but it was delicious. Holding the bag out to Jacob, I asked politely, "Want a cookie?"

With a shake of his head, Jacob sighed, "No. I better get back. I told Seth I would run while he slept. Maybe you could relieve me in a couple of hours?"

"Sure."

"OK, thanks."

"Yep."

Then, Jacob said softly, "Leah?" When I turned to look at him, he surprised me by leaning in to kiss my lips very tenderly before he admitted, "I don't regret it. I just want you to know that." Then he stood up and disappeared quickly into the woods.

As I watched him go, I wondered if he really meant that, or if he just said it to make me feel better. But knowing Jacob the way I did, I knew he didn't say things he didn't mean. He always wore his heart on his sleeve. _Damnit._

Dropping the bag of cookies back into the basket, I then laid back on the grass to look up at the stars and wonder what the hell really happened between Jake and me tonight. Was it just lust? Or was it something else? I really did not want a repeat of what happened with Sam. Jacob already had an imprint . . . I wasn't going there again. But his imprint was a baby, not a full fledged woman who he could hold and kiss and have sex with. Did he expect me to be her stand-in until she was old enough for that? As tempting as it was to think about having sex with Jake again . . . I realized that I wasn't strong enough to just have sex without feelings, even as much as I wanted to.

I really didn't even know Jake that well, really. I mean, before we all turned wolf, I knew Jacob, but only as Rachel and Rebecca's little brother. I used to hang out with them when we were all in school, as our parents were friends. Then along came Sam, and for the next two years, all I could see was him. Then when I phased, Jake was all wrapped up in chasing Bella, and I was . . . well, I was in mourning. Mourning for Sam who was taken from me, mourning for my father, who was taken too soon, and mourning for my life, which would never be my own again. Life was too hard for me to handle . . . it still was. But getting Sam out of my head had been so liberating! Like a huge weight had been taken from me, and I could finally breathe again.

And Jacob was a totally different kind of Alpha. He wasn't demanding . . . he really had no idea what he was doing, so it was easy to be with him. I just hated seeing him be controlled by Bella, the selfish bitch, and now her little hybrid. It was disgusting.

With a sigh, I rolled to my side and tried to make myself comfortable enough to sleep on the ground. _Man, I miss my bed._ I realized that I was too pampered to live this wolf lifestyle. I missed my clothes and my bed and baths and my mom's cooking . . . but there was no going back now. I would not submit myself to Sam ever again.

Being with Jacob tonight made me ache to have a man here beside me to kiss me and whisper how much he loves me. But as I closed my eyes to sleep, I found myself picturing Jacob here with me and not Sam! _Damnit, Leah. Do not fall for this guy. Don't do it!_

But maybe it was too late. 

I woke a few hours later and remembered that I had promised Jacob to take over for him and run patrol. So, I stretched out my aching muscles as I cursed the ground for being so hard, and stood to strip off my clothes then secure them to my ankle with the leather band that was there for just that purpose. Running toward the trees, I phased into my wolf body and sought to connect with Jake so I would know where he was.

I sensed him immediately . . . he wasn't far from me, so I headed in his direction as he greeted me with, "_Hey, Leah_."

_"Hey, Jake. Sorry I slept so long."_

_"That's OK. Nothing going on out here."_

As usual. I wasn't sure why we were running a patrol around the coven house anyway. It's not like Sam would really have the balls to attack. I knew Sam better than anyone and I knew he was all talk. _"I'll go ahead and run the perimeter. Why don't you catch some sleep?"_

_"I think I will. Thanks, Leah."_

_"Sure. No problem."_

And with that, he phased out and left me to run the circle in peace and quiet . . . something that I still was not used to. Being in Sam's pack, there was always someone in your head. Listening to all of them used to drive me crazy! Jared was always all moony over Kim, and Quil's adoration of Claire was nauseating. Embry was always whining about being hungry and tired, while Seth, Collin and Brady were just thrilled to be out running. They loved being wolves! Then there was Paul . . . Paul was dark and brooding and sometimes his thoughts were just too much to handle. Especially when it came to sex. What I saw in Paul's head was . . . well, let's just say, Paul must watch a lot of porn because he thought about it . . . a lot! Now that he imprinted on Rachel, Jacob avoided him like that plague, never patrolling with him and I couldn't blame him.

Then there was Sam. Watching him with Emily was . . . devastating. I know he tried to hide it, but every now and then, something would trickle through and it just made me hate him even more. Then listening to him try and apologize over and over for hurting me . . . like that could wipe away all the pain he caused. Nothing he could say or do would ever be able to erase that . . . nothing.

But, thankfully, that was over. And now, I had just my own thoughts to keep me company as I ran. Although tonight, I found myself wishing for Quil or Collin or Brady . . . anyone other than my own fucked up thoughts about what happened earlier tonight.

Suddenly, I heard, _"Hey, sis. What's up?" _as Seth phased in.

_"I thought you were sleeping?"_

_"I was. But I'm awake now."_

Quickly doing my best to shove my thoughts away, I turned to thinking about how much I missed my bed at home, and my mom.

_"I miss her, too," _I heard from my brother. _"I was actually dreaming earlier tonight that I was eating a piece of Mom's chocolate cake."_

Oh man. Mom's triple layer chocolate cake. It was the best! _"Oh yeah. I really miss that."_

As we ran, we made a game out of what we missed the most. Of course, Seth being a typical 15-year old boy, missed not only his mom and his bed, but his X Box, his Game Boy, and watching _Sponge Bob, Square Pants_.

_"Really, Seth? Sponge Bob?"_

_"Come on, Leah. You have to appreciate the sophisticated humor that is Sponge Bob."_

_"You know your IQ drops at least 20 points every time you watch that show? I seriously feel my brain rot just hearing the stupid theme song!"_

We ran the perimeter several times as we argued, but it felt good to spar with my little brother. Being here with Jacob was the most time that Seth and I had spent together in a very long time. I spent so much of the last few years with Sam then after we broke up . . . well, no one, not even Seth, wanted to be around me. I was hopeful that maybe we could be close again like we were when we were kids. As long as he didn't find out that I had sex with Jacob, that is. That might be something Seth couldn't overlook. 

As the week went by, Jacob and I did our best to hide what happened between us. I noticed that he kept his distance from me, and spent most of his time inside the coven house with Nessie. OK, I just have to rant for a second here: Nessie? What a stupid name. But I suppose it was better than Reneesme . . . what a mouthful! Even I had to admit that I felt kind of sorry for the kid to be saddled with a ridiculous name like that. What was Bella thinking? OK, end of rant.

Seth and I ran patrols, and I even humbled myself to thank Esme for the baskets that she out for me. It was hard for me to be indebted to a bloodsucker, but I was sick of hunting for food like an animal and was very grateful to her for providing me real food. I still insisted on staying outside . . . there was no way I would set foot inside that house to eat or shower or sleep in a real bed. Taking food and clothing from them was bad enough and as far as I was willing to go.

The times that Jacob and I were together were strained, and I hated that. I felt that we were becoming friends before . . . well, before we had sex, and now, I wondered if that was still even possible.

After a couple of days of trying hard just to get him to shoot the breeze with me like the old days, he finally relaxed a little more and I even got a smile or two out of him as we debated about which movie was better, _Die Hard_ or _Terminator._ He always stuck up for Terminator, and I always teased him about being such a geek.

Toward the end of the week, I was just finishing a run when Jake called to me, _"Leah, come to the house. Seth is on the phone with your mom and she really wants to talk to you."_

_"OK. On my way." _This was the only way we could stay in touch with Mom and I was eager to talk to her, so I ran quickly toward the house where I stopped just short of the backyard to phase and pull on my clothes. Walking into the yard, I spotted Seth sitting on the deck with a cell phone.

"Yeah, Mom, she just walked up. I'll put her on," Seth said into the phone before holding it out to me.

I smiled at him then took it to say, "Hey, Mom. What's new?" We chatted a little about the gossip on the rez then she turned the conversation to how worried she was about Seth and me. "We're fine, Mom. Please don't worry, OK?" Then she started to cry as she talked about how much she missed us and I couldn't take it. Fighting back my own tears, I muttered into the phone, "I gotta go, Mom," then I threw the phone at Seth and jogged toward the woods to shed my tears in private.

That's when Jake came out of nowhere to call, "Leah, wait!"

I don't know why, but I stopped as soon as I hit the treeline and waited for him. By this time, the tears had escaped and were running down my face and I was having a hard time keeping the sobs at bay.

"Leah, hey, are you OK?" Jake asked as he ran up behind me. Not being able to turn and face him, I just stood still and shook my head. I could feel the heat from his body on my back as he stepped close then wound his arms around me. For a moment, I gave in and leaned back against him as he said softly, "I'm so sorry, Leah. I know how hard it is to be away from home. I miss my dad and Rach and Embry and Quil . . . this sucks and . . . I'm sorry." Then I felt his lips on my shoulder as he put a very soft kiss there, and I kind of freaked.

Hating the fact that I had showed Jacob my weak side, I sucked up the tears and yanked away from him. "I'm fine, Jake." Quickly wiping my face and nose, I told him, "I'll see ya later," before turning and bolting into the woods to get away from him. Things had been so awkward between us since that night we had sex, and now I was confused even more at Jacob trying to comfort me. I spent the rest of that night hiding in my place until I ran patrol the next morning.

Jacob let a couple of days go by before he approached me again. I was laying under a tree in back of the coven house, running a blade of grass through my fingers wondering what I could do to ease the fucking boredom. Jacob and Seth were running around, chasing the little golden child, and I was doing everything I could to ignore them. _I wonder if any of the leeches has an iPod I could borrow so I could drown out the sound of the kiddies at play?_

That's when I heard Ed-weird say, "I have one, if you don't mind classical music."

I always forgot my thoughts were not my own when he was around. "Beatles? Stones?" I asked.

"Uh, no. Beethoven and Bach, mostly."

"Oh, of course. What _was_ I thinking?"

Thankfully, that's when Jacob approached me and asked, "Leah? Could you meet me at the west border in like ten minutes?"

"Gee, Jake, I don't know," I said lazily. "I'm pretty busy here."

With a roll of his eyes, he kicked my foot and insisted, "Go. I'll be there in 10."

Shoving myself from the ground, I sighed, "Fine. Whatever, boss man." Once I was on my feet, I turned and jogged for the woods, where I stripped and phased and made my way to the west border. I had no idea what this was about, but it was better than watching Jacob being led around by the nose by a toddler.

So, there I was, pacing back and forth along the border when I sensed I wasn't alone. Someone was on the other side of the line. Not being a part of Sam's pack anymore, I could only sense them coming, like any other animal, but I couldn't hear their thoughts so I had no idea who it was until they came into view. Thankfully, I found it was Embry, but as wolves, we couldn't communicate, and it felt very strange and . . . wrong somehow.

He had a sack of some kind in his mouth, and he set it down so he could bark out a hello and I answered then we each sat down on our haunches on our own sides of the line and waited for Jacob. I felt him phase in a few seconds later so I informed him that Embry was here. _"I know. I'm sorry I'm late. Nessie didn't want me to leave and Edward had to peel her off of me."_

_"Yeah, yeah, whatever. What do you want me to do? We can't talk to each other like this. Should I phase or wait for you?"_

_"It's Embry. You can trust him. If you want to phase and talk, go ahead. I'll be there in like five minutes."_

_"OK, boss." _Looking over at Embry, I gave him a nod then turned to trot behind some bushes where I could phase in private. Once I was dressed, I walked out to find him standing there, in the same spot, only he was now human too and dressed in his regular tattered cut-offs.

"Hey, Leah."

"Hey, Embry," I returned. "Finally decide to come to the dark side, young padawan?"

"I wish," he snorted. "If only Jake would let me."

"Well, you can always just shove yourself on him like I did. Worked for me." Then, seeing his worried expression, I asked, "Does Sam know you're here?"

Shrugging, Embry answered, "Not yet, but I'm sure he will."

Just then, Jake came jogging into the clearing to call out, "Hey, Em!"

"Hey, Jake."

"Did you bring it?"

With a nod, Embry leaned down and picked up the bag and handed it to Jake. Opening the bag and peeking inside, Jake smiled then said to Embry, "Thanks, bro."

"Sure."

"So, how is everything back home?" Jake asked.

"Fine, I guess," Embry grunted. "Sam is still pissed and ranting all the time, and your dad and Sue are pretty lonely."

"I know," Jacob sighed.

Suddenly, Embry exploded, "Jake, please let me come and be a part of your pack! I can't take it anymore! I hate this."

"I hate it, too, buddy, but . . . I can't let you. I won't let you. I won't let one more person that I care about be stuck here, doing something that is . . . " then Jake stopped talking. I had a feeling he was about to say 'so wrong,' but I couldn't be sure. Swiping his hand through his hair, he said instead, "Embry, I'm sorry. I miss you, I love you like a brother, you know that, but, no. I won't let you. Stay in La Push. Please." Jake was pleading with Embry with his eyes to listen to him, to obey his wish, and I wondered why it was so important to him.

"Whatever," Embry shrugged in defeat. "See ya around." Then I watched a very sad and lonely Embry turn and walk slowly back into the woods on his side of the treaty line, I knew hoping that Jake would somehow change his mind and call him back. But as I turned to look at the defiant look on Jacob's face, I knew that wouldn't happen. Finally, Embry stopped and turned for one final look, then as Jacob held up his hand in a wave, Embry phased, and with pieces of his shredded shorts flying into the air, he bolted into the woods.

"Why, Jake? Can't you see how hurt he is? He's your best friend. Why won't you let him join our pack?" I asked.

"Don't, Leah. I have my reasons, OK?"

Stupid me, I never know when to quit, so I started again, "But why? It's Embry . . ."

"Stop asking me! I don't want to talk about it, alright?" Jake shouted.

Putting my hands up in defeat, I said, "Fine. Then why did you want me here?"

With a sigh, he held out the bag and said softly, "Cause this is for you. Happy Birthday."

Oh my God. I had no idea he even knew it was my birthday. Of course, I'm sure Seth told him. Taking the bag, I opened it and looked inside then gasped, "No way!" Looking up at him, I asked, "Is this what I think it is?"

"A triple-layer chocolate cake, made my Sue Clearwater herself," Jacob answered with a grin.

"I can't believe this," I cried with a shake of my head. I was so surprised that anyone would go to lengths like this for me . . . for my birthday.

"She wanted to bring it herself, but . . . I wasn't so sure that was a good idea. But I promised her that I would send you and Seth home for a visit real soon."

"Can I do that? I mean, would Sam allow us . . . "

"We'll figure something, out, I promise."

Setting the bag very carefully on the ground, I wound my arms around Jacob's waist as I said softly, "Thank you, Jacob. Thank you so much."

"You're welcome. But you know, you're going to have to share."

Stepping back, I smiled and nodded. "Yeah, I know."

Then I saw something in his eyes . . . something I had seen before, when he comforted me for missing my mom, and on that night that we had sex. A spark . . . just a small hint that he cared. It was very unsettling, and before I could back away, Jacob leaned forward and kissed me softly on the lips. "Wh-what was that for?" I asked, trying to keep my voice from shaking.

"Happy Birthday," Jake whispered with a crooked smile that made him look so disturbingly gorgeous . . .

Quickly, I shook myself from my stupor and stepped back to pick up the bag and say, "I can't wait to show Seth. Let's go."

As soon as we arrived back at the coven house, Jake ran inside for plates and forks and as he walked out the back door, I heard him call over his shoulder, "Seth! Get your ass outside! NOW!"

That brought him running, as Seth never wanted to do anything to displease Jacob. It gagged me really the way the kid idolized Jacob. "What's wrong?" Seth called as soon as he hit the back steps.

That's when I held up the cake and watched with glee as Seth's grin took over his face. "Is that Mom's chocolate cake?"

"Yep. Jake called her and had her make it for my birthday," I explained. "Embry just delivered it."

"Awesome!" Seth exclaimed as he plopped down beside me.

As I picked up the knife to cut the cake, Jake held out his hand to stop me as he asked, "Shouldn't we sing?"

"Really, Jake? I've heard you sing. Do you really want to do that to me on my birthday?"

Seth snickered as Jake rolled his eyes and answered, "Fine, we won't sing. But I do have a present."

"I thought the cake was the present?"

"It is, but this was in the bag, too," Jacob said as he held out a small wrapped box. "It's from your mom."

I handed Seth the knife and took the box from Jacob wondering what Mom sent. I gasped as I unwrapped the box to find it was a cell phone! "Oh my gosh!"

Jacob smiled as he said, "I guess it's her way of saying you don't call enough?"

"Wow, I guess so." I opened the box and took out the phone to see it was charged and ready to go.

"Call her, Leah. Call her and tell her thank you," Jake ordered.

"I will, but later. When I'm alone, OK?" I wasn't so sure I could make the call without crying and I didn't want to do that in front of him again.

Jacob nodded as Seth whined impatiently like a 5-year old, "Can we cut the cake now?"

"Yes, whiny-butt, we can cut the cake now," I told him as I took the knife and sliced into the three layers of chocolate heaven. After cutting three pieces, I finally picked up the plate and fork and bit into the cake and then I closed my eyes and sighed as I felt like I was having a chocolate orgasm.

"Oh my God, you guys weren't lying. This is the most delicious thing I've ever eaten," Jacob observed as he shoved another huge bite into his mouth.

"I told you," Seth bragged as he chewed. "Mom is the best."

"Yeah, she is," I agreed quietly. I missed her so much . . . even more today on the day we always spent together. Mom always said that our birthdays were special days for her too as there is no bond greater than that between a mother and a child. I felt myself tear up so I quickly shoved that thought away as I ate the rest of my cake. I would shed those tears much later, when I was alone in my place. 

A few days later, after yet another boring day, hanging around the coven house, waiting for the attack that would never come I finished my run of the perimeter to find another basket set out for me. I quickly told Seth I needed some time to rest and grabbing the basket in my teeth, I ran through the woods to my place. I was starving and whatever was packed inside this basket was making my mouth water. I had to stop twice just to suck the drool back into my mouth so it wouldn't drip into the basket! Gross, I know.

Once I got to my place, I set the basket under the tree and phased into my human body. I immediately pulled the blanket off the top, thankful that she had thought to include it, and spread it over the ground. Esme once again put in some clean clothes, shampoo and conditioner, soap and a towel. I had to hand it to her . . . she was making it very difficult to keep hating her.

I took my bath, in a hurry this time in case I was caught again, and then dressed in the fresh pair of black gym shorts and purple tank top after hanging the towel on a tree branch to dry. I combed through my hair with my fingers then settled onto the blanket to eat. Reaching into the basket, I pulled out a plastic container and opened the lid to find the most heavenly smelling lasagna inside! I immediately looked for a fork then dug into the lasagna and sighed as I chewed and then swallowed this wonderful dish, moaning, "Oh my God, this is good."

"I know. I told you Esme was a great cook." I jumped as Jacob stepped out of the bushes behind me.

"Geez, Jacob! You scared the shit out of me!"

With a chuckle, he plopped down beside me. "Sorry. I didn't mean to scare you." As I tried to stop my heart racing, Jacob said, "Don't stop eating. It's too good to go to waste."

I took another bite as I asked, "What brings you here?"

"No reason," Jacob shrugged. "I just haven't seen you much this week. I'm glad that you finally gave in and accepted Esme's baskets. It really made her happy."

With my mouthful, I answered, "I guess starvation makes you desperate."

Jacob laid back on the grass and folded his arms under his head as he looked up at the night sky. I couldn't help but notice how great that position made his biceps look. _Mmmm, and those rock hard abs . . . OK, Leah, get a grip. Eat, you're starving, remember?_

Looking away, I concentrated on eating the rest of my delicious dinner as Jacob asked, "So, um, how are you?"

What was this? Jacob's attempt at small talk? Slowly, I replied, "Um, fine, I guess. How are you?"

"OK," he sighed.

"Just OK?" Obviously Jacob had something he wanted to talk about, but he was having a hard time getting started. I shoved the last bite of lasagna into my mouth then snapped the lid back onto the container and dropped it and the fork back into the basket then reached for a bottle of water while I waited for Jacob to answer.

Finally, he turned his head toward me and said, "I'm having a hard time forgetting what happened here between us, Leah."

Oh, so that was it. He had sex, now he wanted more. This was a booty-call. Could I handle that? Glancing at his hot body, I wasn't so sure. Did I want him? Hell, yeah. But was it a smart idea? Hell, no. Deciding I needed more information, after taking a long drink of water, I prompted him with, "And?"

Sitting up, Jacob ran his hand through his hair as he spit out, "And it's driving me fucking crazy!" Turning to me he ranted, "I can't eat, I can't sleep . . . I've been reciting the alphabet over and over, singing _Jingle Bells_ or _Happy Birthday_, every time I'm around Seth or Edward so they won't see what I'm thinking. They have to know something is up. I don't know how long I can do this."

"Oh Jake," I sighed. "You have to stop this. OK, so we had sex . . . I mean, it's not the end of the world. You have to quit obsessing over it."

Then Jacob's practically bore a hole into mine as he said slowly, "I wish I could, but I can't." I gasped inwardly as I could see his eyes darkening with desire as he sat there beside me, his hand suddenly inching every so lightly up my thigh. Did this obsession have to do with just being horny, or was it something else? I wasn't sure, but I knew for his own good, I should try harder to stop him this time.

Setting my hand on top of his, I slid it off of my thigh as I said, "Jacob, I don't think this is a good idea."

"I know it's not, Leah, but I can't help it."

"Yes, you can," I told him sternly. "Just think of your imprint."

At the word "imprint," I saw a flicker in his eye . . . something that told me he had something to hide there. But it was gone in an instant and back was the smoldering desire that told me he wasn't going to give up that easily. His hand came up to my cheek as he breathed, "Leah," before his lips captured mine.

Kissing Jacob was . . . so hot. His lips were soft, yet strong and unyielding. And when his tongue snuck inside my mouth to caress mine, I felt myself weakening. _Come on, Leah. Be strong! _Shoving him away, I said, "Stop it, Jacob. I won't be your booty-call."

Anger flashed in those dark eyes of his as Jacob hissed, "You think that's what this is?"

"You tell me."

As an answer, Jacob crushed his lips back onto mine and I found myself on my back as Jake tangled his hand into my wet hair. I fought with myself for like 10 seconds before giving in and kissing him back. I was too weak . . . booty-call or not, it just felt sooo good.

Wrapping my arms around his neck, I pulled him closer and heard him groan as he pressed his hardness into my leg. His hand snaked under my tank top and found that my nipple was standing out, just begging for attention, so he took it between his finger and thumb, rolling it and pulling at it as I felt a shiver run all through me.

Stopping only long enough to pull my shirt over my head, Jake then kissed his way down my neck until he reached that same nipple and then he took it into his mouth. I moaned as I arched my back, arousal exploding inside me at the feeling of his tongue swirling around and around.

Jacob soon had me in that state of arousal where I needed him, and I needed him now. Pushing him away, I surprised him by reaching for the zipper on his shorts. It would now be up to him to put a stop to this. I looked into his eyes as I pulled the zipper slowly down over his erection and reached in to pull him from his shorts. I tugged on him a couple of times as Jacob reached down to push his shorts down over his hips. Apparently, we were both too far gone to stop this from happening.

I quickly slid my shorts off then Jacob rolled me to my back to hover over me as he settled between my open thighs. I could feel him rubbing himself against my opening, and I wondered for a moment if he would change his mind. Never taking his eyes from mine, he pushed himself inside slowly then smiled at me. That's when I realized that this was Jake and not the Alpha Jacob that had been in control that first time. Smiling back, I put my hand to his neck and pulled him closer to capture his lips in a kiss.

Moving oh so slowly, we kissed as we tried to find a rhythm and soon the speed picked up until we were both going fast and furious to find that release. The way Jacob moved, you would never have known this was only his second time. Raising my leg to rest on his shoulder, he pushed harder and deeper and I was quickly consumed with the need to come . . . and then, it happened and I was swept away. This time, Jake cried out, "Oh fuck . . . Leah!" as I felt him empty into me. Then all I could hear was the sound of our hearts beating furiously as we panted to catch our breath.

After a few seconds, Jacob shifted his huge body so he was lying beside me, propped on his elbow. "God, that was . . .that was amazing," he said softly as he brushed a strand of hair from my forehead.

"Yeah, it was," I panted, "fucking awesome."

That brought a chuckle from Jake. "I love your foul mouth."

_Great, Leah. Way to be all girly and romantic_. "Sorry," I muttered.

"No, I mean it. I like the way you don't take any shit from anyone. You're a lot stronger than you think, Leah."

_Not right now, I'm not. I feel like a ball of mush inside, looking into Jacob's beautiful brown eyes. _Sitting up, I shook out my hair and wondered what to do now. Talk about awkward. Spotting the water bottle sitting beside me on the blanket, I picked it up and quickly took off the cap to take a drink. Once I swallowed, I held it out to Jacob.

"Thanks," he said as he took the bottle to drink the last of it then he put the cap on and tossed it into the basket, calling out, "Oh yeah, two points."

Giving him a small smile, I pushed myself from the blanket to walk over toward the stream where I waded in to sit down and clean myself up a little. Soon, Jacob stepped in and I smiled as I saw him pick up the soap and ask, "Do you mind?"

I shook my head then Jacob sat down across from me to lather up his muscular body. I couldn't help but watch as he used the soap to wash his short hair too and then rinsed it all away, coming up from the water to shake his head like a dog.

As water flew in my face, I called out, "Hey, mutt!"

Jacob's rich laughter rang out as I splashed back at him. Before long, we were in an all-out war, trying to drench each other. As I tried to run out of the stream to grab the towel, Jacob ran after me and grabbed me around the waist, lifting me off the ground. "Put me down you big oaf!"

"You have to ask nicely," Jacob returned sweetly.

"_Please p_ut me down, you big oaf," I shot back.

"Not good enough."

Finally, I took a deep breath and said as politely as I could, "Please oh Great Alpha, would you please put me down?"

I felt him laugh as he lowered me and as soon as my feet hit the ground, I whipped around to smack him on the arm. That just made him laugh harder at me and I humiliated myself by stomping my foot on the ground and saying, "Stop laughing at me you ass!"

"I can't help it. You're so cute when you're pretending to be mad at me."

As I stood there glaring at him, trying to decide whether I wanted to slap him or kiss him, Jacob made the decision for me and swept me into his arms to kiss me until I felt like melting into a pool at his feet.

After a moment, I pushed him away and took the towel from the tree branch and turned my back to him as I dried off. I felt him behind me then heard the seriousness in his voice as he said, "Leah, I . . . "

I stopped him by saying, "Don't Jake. Don't talk, OK?" Then I turned and shoved the towel at him as I stepped back over to the blanket to retrieve my clothes.

"Don't talk?" I heard Jake say as he threw the towel back over the tree branch. "Really, Leah? That's your answer? Let's just have sex, but don't talk about it." Dropping down to the blanket beside me he added, "I thought chicks were the ones that always talked about everything."

"Yeah, so quit being a chick, Jake," I threw back at him as I concentrated on turning my shorts so that I could slip them on.

Grabbing my shorts from my hand, Jake threw them down as he shouted, "Stop it, Leah! Stop acting like this doesn't matter to you. I know it does. I can see it in your eyes."

Turning on him, I shouted back, "What do you want me to do, Jake? Break down and cry? Sit here and spout my undying love for you? What? Why don't you tell me what you expect me to do?"

"I don't know! But I know I hate this!" Jake cried in frustration. "One minute you're laughing and playing with me, then you get all moody again and act like what we did was nothing to you." Then he dropped his head for a moment and I heard him take in a deep breath before he said softly, "Leah, I care about you. This is not just sex to me."

_What? Did I hear that right? _Turning to him, I watched in amazement as Jake turned his head to look into my eyes and I saw it . . . he _was_ telling the truth. He _did_ have feelings for me. How was that possible? "What? How can you say that to me?"

"Say what? That I care about you? Because I do," Jake insisted.

But how could he care about me? He had an imprint . . . or did he? Quickly, I started to put things together in my mind, and I found myself saying slowly, "You made it up, didn't you Jake?"

Immediately, he spouted, "No, damnit, I told you the truth, I do care about . . . "

"No, not about me," I interjected. "About her . . . Nessie. Oh my God, Jake! You made up the imprint . . . to protect her, didn't you?"

Jacob quickly averted his eyes from mine, and that's when I knew. I knew I was right. Why didn't I see it before? He had never imprinted on that half-vamp hybrid! Somehow, deep in my gut, I knew when he told me he did that it couldn't be true. Imprinting was all about keeping the bloodlines going . . . there was no way the wolf gods would choose her for Jacob if that was true. Besides, as much as he tried to fake it, I never quite felt the adoration for her like I felt when I was with Quil and he was thinking about Claire.

"Jacob, look at me," I demanded. "Look at me!"

Finally, Jacob turned his head to look at me and I heard him whisper, "It's true. I lied."

"I knew it!" I cried out in victory. "I knew there was no way the wolf gods would let the Alpha and next tribal leader of the Quileute imprint on a bloodsucker!" Then sobering, I looked back at Jacob and asked, "But why, Jake?"

"I didn't know what else to do. I couldn't let Sam hurt Bella's baby," Jacob explained so softly I could barely hear him. "I had just watched her die . . . I held her heart in my hand and tried everything I could to keep it beating . . . " He stopped for a moment and I hated seeing the pain that flashed across his face at that memory. "I was all set to kill that baby myself until I saw her. I looked into those familiar brown eyes that were just like Bella's and . . . I couldn't do it. So . . . I told everyone that I imprinted on her. I knew then that as my imprint, she would be safe."

Wiping my hand over my eyes then down my face, I turned to Jacob and stated, "So, there is no imprint."

"No."

"Does anyone else know? I mean, Edward must have seen it in your head."

With a slow nod, Jacob admitted, "He did, and he approved. He'd go along with anything to keep Nessie safe. But no one else knows."

I sat there quietly trying to take in what Jake was telling me. _He lied about imprinting on Bella's spawn . . . there was no imprint . . . and now he tells me he cares about me . . . _ Suddenly, I gasped as I turned to him and asked, "Are you trying to tell me you imprinted on me?"

I watched a big smile light up Jacob's face as he shot back, "Why? Would that be so bad?"

Giving him a shove, I warned him, "Don't you dare joke about this Black! You know how I feel about imprinting."

Still smiling, Jake shook his head as he told me, "No, I didn't imprint on you. At least I don't think so. I really don't know what imprinting feels like, but I don't think it's the same."

"So then, what are you trying to tell me? You're confusing the shit out of me."

Jacob leaned forward until his forehead was resting against mine and whispered, "I'm confused, too. All I know is, I can't get you out of my mind." Then his lips were on mine and I wound my hands into his hair as he laid me back onto the blanket. "Leah," Jake breathed near my ear. "I want you again. I want you all the time."

I smiled as I whispered, "Are you sure it's not just the sex? I mean, you have nothing to compare me to."

"I don't think about anyone else the way I think of you."

"Not even Bella?"

With a shake of his head, he said, "No, not even Bella. She's gone . . . that's over."

That's what I needed to hear. I didn't want to be a substitute for the selfish bitch he could never have. "Then kiss me, Jake."

With a smile, he did just that, and I sighed as his tongue entered my mouth. I was hungry for him again, too, which surprised me. Maybe it was just that I missed sex, but suddenly I didn't think so. I did feel something for Jacob that I hadn't felt for Sam . . . this longing, this feeling of being so right. I couldn't explain it, but whatever it was, I wasn't going to deny it any longer.

As we kissed, our hands traveled each other's bodies as we finally took some time to learn about each other. I found that Jacob loved how it felt when my hair brushed against his stomach as I kissed my way across his chest and those wonderfully chiseled abs. And when I took him into my mouth, I thought he would come unglued.

Finally, I crawled on top and took him inside me and rode him until I came in a frenzy, shouting out "Oh my God, yes!" as I collapsed onto his chest. As I tried to collect myself, I felt him run his hands through my hair as he said, "Wow, that was amazing to watch."

Sitting up, I answered, "Yeah? Well it felt amazing, too."

"This feels so right to me, Leah. Does it to you?"

I hesitated for just a moment then deciding I couldn't lie, I just nodded. Jacob rolled so I laid beside him as he kissed me and said, "I'm so sorry, I lied. If I would have walked away when I had the chance . . . we could . . . "

"We could what, Jake?"

"Be together. All the time. I don't like hiding, Leah. I don't want you to think I'm ashamed of you or this . . . "

"I don't. I don't, Jake."

Biting his lip, he brushed a strand of hair from my forehead as he looked at me. I could see in his eyes how torn he was at wanting to the do the right thing for Nessie, and wanting to give it up to be with me. Taking his hand, I kissed his palm before I said, "It's OK, Jake. For now, let's just go on like this. Let's keep it hidden for awhile until you decide what you want to do. But, I want you to know that I won't stay here forever. Now that I now she's not your imprint, there is no reason for us to protect her."

Propping himself on his elbow, Jacob returned, "But that's the thing. When everyone finds out that she's not my imprint, she'll need protecting!"

"But not by us. Her family can protect her, Jacob. Haven't they been talking about going to Europe?" Jake nodded so I suggested, "Then maybe that's the best thing . . . for them to leave." Jacob sighed as his head dropped and I knew that even though she wasn't his imprint, he still cared about her . . . and Bella. "Or is that it? You don't want them to go?"

Jake then sat up and pulled his knees up to lock his arms around them as he said, "I don't know."

Sitting up beside him, I said, "Just so you know, Jacob, I care about you, too. But I won't be a substitute for her. I won't be second prize."

Jacob's head turned toward me quickly as he asked, "Is that what you think? You think I can't have Bella, so I'm settling for you?"

"Well, aren't you?"

"Damnit, no! I can't believe you would say that after . . . after what we just did. I told you I care about you, I told you that was over. Why don't you believe me?"

I didn't have an answer to that. I don't know why I was still jealous of Bella . . . I had Jacob in a way she never had, so I guess it was stupid to feel this way and yet I heard myself mumble, "I guess I just want to be sure that when you kiss me, you're not thinking of her."

"Really? You know I could say the same to you. Are you thinking of Sam when I kiss you?"

_Bam. Right between the eyes._ I needed that wake-up call to make me realize how insecure I was being. Taking my face in his huge hands, Jacob forced me to look at him as he said firmly, "Believe me, Leah, I only think of you when I kiss you. I think about you all the time, no matter who I'm with or what I'm doing. Just you." Then he kissed me, softly and tenderly, lingering over my lips until he pulled away to look at me and ask, "What about you?"

I felt a smile curl on my lips as I whispered, "You, Jake. I only see you."

Returning my smile, he said, "Good answer." Then he kissed me and all I saw was his face, and his eyes. Sam was just a distant memory now, and I knew then it would stay that way forever.

"Would you mind if I slept here with you tonight?" Jake whispered.

"No, but . . . what if Seth finds us?"

"He won't. He's standing guard at the house while I run and you sleep. I told him I would be back at dawn to relieve him." With a smile, I laid back on the blanket and soon Jacob joined me, taking me into his arms and pulling me close as he said, "Every night, I think about what it would be like to hold you all night while you sleep."

"Mmm, I have to admit that I think about it too."

"Good night, Leah."

"Good night, Jake."

And then we slept. 

In the morning, before dawn, Jacob slipped out and headed back to the coven house to relieve Seth and in the days that followed, it went pretty much the same. Around nine or ten at night, I would find a basket with food waiting for me, and I would take it back to my place, and after I ate, Jacob would show up and we would make love, then talk or take a bath and then we would sleep wrapped in each other's arms all night until dawn.

I was amazed at the feelings Jacob was bringing out in me . . . feelings I never thought I would have again. I smiled more, and felt more relaxed, even around the coven house! Jacob was sweet and funny and for a virgin, very hot in bed. I was falling for him fast . . . faster than I wanted to. I really didn't want to do the love thing again. Even though Jacob was helping me to heal, I still couldn't forget the pain caused by loving Sam.

I didn't know how long we could keep this up without Seth finding out, but I didn't care. I was happier now than I had been in a very long time, and I didn't want to think about anything interfering with my happiness.

But Jacob was getting a little too reckless, sneaking up behind me when I was at the coven house to whisper in my ear all the things he wanted to do to me that night, or sneaking a kiss when he thought no one was around. I guess it was the excitement at the thought of getting caught, but I started to think about how Seth would feel if he saw us, and finally, one night, I brought it up to Jacob. "Jake, we really need to tell Seth about us."

We were laying on the blanket and Jacob was propped on his elbow feeding both of us grapes. "Are you sure? I know he's going to freak."

"Of course he's going to freak, but I think it's better to hear it from us than to just walk up and find us naked on a blanket eating grapes."

That made Jake chuckle as he put a grape in my mouth. "OK, I get your point. When do you want to tell him?"

"Tomorrow. Let's just get it over with, OK?"

"OK."

After a few more grapes, I asked, "Jake? Have you thought anymore about . . . how long you want this to go on?"

Looking at me, he shook his head and said, "No. I know I should tell Bella the truth, but . . . "

"But you're a chicken shit and you just can't bring yourself to do it."

"Thanks, Leah."

"Well, it's the truth!" I insisted as I sat up to face him. "You sneak kisses from me when you think no one is around, but what are you going to do when Bella catches you? Or Nessie? Have you thought about that? And how long can you really hide this from Edward? He has to know that something is up by now."

Hanging his head, I heard Jacob mutter, "I know."

"Look, let's tell Seth first tomorrow then think about telling Bella. I'm tired of sneaking around and sleeping on the ground. I want to sleep with you in a real bed."

That brought a grin to Jacob's face as he reached for me. "Mmm, me too. And I can think of other things to do in bed . . . " he added as he nibbled at my ear lobe.

"Oh yeah? Want to show me?" I asked brazenly.

"Oh yeah . . . " Jacob growled as he laid me down on the blanket and did just that. 

"So what's this big pack meeting about?" Seth asked as soon as he arrived at our meeting spot the next morning. Seeing my confusion, Seth added, "Jake told me to meet you here for a pack meeting. That he had something important to talk about."

"Oh yeah. Well, I guess we'll just have to wait to find out," I muttered, not wanting to give anything away without Jacob here to back me up. I wasn't sure how Seth was going to take this. It was kind of freaking me out. "Where is Jake?"

"He sent me on ahead while he got Nessie to lay down for her nap."

"Oh yeah, nanny duties."

"You know you should spend more time with Nessie. She feels bad that you hate her so much."

"I don't _hate_ her . . . " I started.

"Yeah, right. You don't hide it very well, you know."

"Maybe I'm just not in love with her like you and Jake are. She's a little snot-nosed toddler and you all treat her like she walks on water or something. It's disgusting really."

Just then, Jacob jogged up to say, "Hey, sorry it took so long. Nessie insisted on a story . . . "

"Yeah whatever, let's just this show on the road, OK?" I complained.

"Geez, Leah, quit being such a grouch," Seth threw at me.

"Shut up, dweeb!" I shot back out of habit until Jake put his hand up to say, "Enough you two."

With a sigh, I looked at Seth and said, "I'm sorry. I'm just a little nervous."

"About what?"

"About what this meeting is about."

Looking to Jacob, Seth asked, "Yeah, what is this meeting about?" He looked up at Jake with such innocent adulation . . . I cringed to think that might all change when he heard that Jake had been sleeping with his sister.

Jacob cleared his throat and said, "Well, it's about . . . me and . . . Leah."

Seth glanced at me curiously then asked, "What about you and Leah?"

"We, uh . . . well, let me start with . . . " then Jacob stopped and looked at me to ask, "Where should I start?"

Looking between us suspiciously, Seth said, "You guys are freaking me out. Just say what you got to say."

I nodded to Jacob who then turned to Seth to say, "Me and Leah . . . we're together."

"Together? What do you mean 'together?' "

With a sigh, I put my hand on Seth's arm to get his attention then said, "Jake and I are a couple. We've been together for awhile now, but we want you to know about it."

Stunned, Seth asked hesitantly, "A couple? You can't be." Then turning to Jacob he asked, "What about Nessie?"

I could see how nervous Jacob was to tell Seth the truth, but it had to come from him. I couldn't do this for him. Finally, Jacob said, "I lied, Seth. I'm so sorry, but . . . I lied about the imprint. I didn't know what else to do to protect her, so I said I imprinted on her, but I never did."

I watched Seth as the realization set in and then I saw the anger in him as he looked back at Jacob. "You lied to me? To all of us? How could you do that?"

"I told you, to protect Nessie."

"Yeah, but I would have kept the secret. You could have told me!"

"I know, Seth, but I didn't tell anyone."

"You told Leah!" Seth shot back.

"No, I didn't tell Leah. She figured it out."

Seth then turned his wrath on me. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because I felt it was Jacob's duty to tell you, which he is doing now. Look, don't be a baby over this, OK? He's coming clean now, so suck it up and help us figure out what to do about it."

Seth stood up and paced back and forth a few times before turning back and asking, "So did you imprint on Leah?"

With a shake of his head, Jacob answered, "No. But I care about her . . . a lot. And . . . I want to be with her all the time. I don't want to sneak around anymore."

"How long have you two been sneaking around?"

"A few weeks now."

"Are you sleeping with her?"

Jacob glanced at me before he said simply, "Yes."

"Damnit! I feel like such a fucking idiot!" Seth cried out. Whipping around to me he yelled, "I'm your brother, Leah. How could you not tell me something like that?"

"Gee, I don't know, Seth. Maybe because I knew you wouldn't take it so well! And besides, I don't usually come and tell you when I'm having sex with someone because that's something that I like to keep private."

"Great. Now I have to think about the two of you having sex . . . gross!"

"Why do you think I've been reciting the alphabet so much and singing all those stupid songs in my head when we're wolf? I don't want you to see that. Believe me, I made that mistake once around Paul, and I vowed to never do it again."

Dropping his head into his hands, Seth plopped back down onto the ground and whined, "Stop. I don't want to think about it anymore."

Slinging my arm over his shoulders, I said, "Seth, I'm sorry. You are my brother, and even though I don't say it, you know I love you, and I don't want this to upset you. I'm happy, Seth. For the first time in a long time, I'm happy. Jacob makes me happy, and . . . well, I want you to be happy for me. Can you do that?"

Seth pulled his head up to look at me and I finally saw him smile just a little. "Well, if he can make that bitchy Leah go away, I guess I can deal with it."

"Good," I smiled as I pulled him in for a hug.

I let him go and Seth turned to Jacob. "So, what do we do now? Are we still going to stay here?"

"Well, I've been thinking long and hard about that and . . . I talked to Edward this morning and he told me that they have decided to take Nessie and go to Europe for awhile. So, I am going to talk to Bella after this and come clean . . . tell her that I lied about the imprint. I just hope she takes it as well as you."

"Yeah, good luck with that," I huffed, which earned me a look from Jacob.

"So, does that mean we go home? To La Push? Can we even do that?" Seth asked.

"I don't know. I need to talk to Sam somehow and try and work this all out, but I hope so. We need to see our families, and you need to get back to school."

"So do you," I threw at Jacob.

We all just sat there for a moment and let everything soak in then Jacob said, "OK, well, Seth why don't you run the perimeter while I work up enough nerve to go and talk to Bella."

"Fine, but if you need back-up, call me."

"I will. Thanks, bro."

We all stood and Seth turned to go then he stopped and said, "For what it's worth, I hope you guys stay together. I always thought you'd be good for each other."

With a smile, I replied, "Thanks, Seth." He nodded then jogged off to leave just the two of us. Turning to Jake, I asked, "So, that went OK, didn't it?"

"Yeah, I guess. He didn't take a swing at me, so I guess we're OK."

"Did you think he would?"

Jacob shrugged before answering, "I know I did when I found out about Paul and Rachel."

"Well, yeah, but that's because it was Paul. No one would want their sister hooking up with Paul."

Jacob smiled as he pulled me close to kiss me. "I'm glad Seth knows. I didn't like keeping it from him. And I'm glad that he's OK with it. It's important to me."

"It is to me too. But you know, now you have to face Sue Clearwater, and she is a lot scarier than my little brother."

"I think I can handle it," Jacob grinned as he pulled me close again. "I can handle anything as long as I have you." Good answer.


End file.
